By Joseph McCaffrey

The only moment we have is now. Our life is a series of ‘nows’, one after the other. Each is precious and we should make the most of them all.

In the abstract, it’s easy to make statements about loving every moment, finding appreciation, living in joy, etc. The reality is we enjoy doing some things more than others, and there are some things we just don’t like doing.

We often call things we don’t like to do things we ‘have’ to do. We like to be in control. Feeling we’re forced to do something weakens that sense of control and we can resent the activity. It seems logical that we wouldn’t choose to do something we didn’t like – somebody must be making us do it.

However, we rarely have to do anything because of outside forces. When we say we have to go to work, it’s not because three big guys show up at our door and physically force us to go. For most of us, we go because we made a commitment and we honor our commitments.

Or maybe we go simply to support our family, in which case it’s driven by a devotion and commitment to family. The point is that we have a choice. We are in control. In this case, we could stay home. There may be consequences we don’t want, but we could exercise that choice.

So the first step to feeling good about any situation is to acknowledge that you have a choice and review it. Look at the real reasons why you’re doing something and the consequences of not doing it. Then decide if it’s worth it to you.

If you still decide you going to do the action, you now have another choice. You can do it feeling resentment and annoyance, or you can try to find some way to make the best of it. It’s your choice. The quality of your moments and hence the quality of your life depends on this choice.

Consider going to the dentist. It’s not a favorite thing for most people. However, you’ve made the decision that you want to maintain good dental health. Regular visits to a dentist are part of that, so you’re going to go. Make the best of it. Look for ways to make the experience enjoyable.

Only you can decide what your unique approach will be.

Maybe you’ll bring a book to read while waiting, or some music to listen to in the chair.

If you have an actual fear of dental procedures, you could decide to try one of the many techniques available for dealing with fears and phobias. It could become an opportunity to develop a useful life skill.

You could decide to appreciate the fact we have dentists and hygienists and we don’t have to experience the dental problems of past generations.

Maybe you could schedule a little extra time after every dental appointment to do something you enjoy.

The point is this: once you decide to do something, find a way to enjoy it. There are always some positive aspects. You’ll find them if you keep looking. Over time your focus will automatically shift.

And as you realize that you do have a choice, you may find yourself exercising that choice to not engage in an activity.

But before you say you ‘have to’ do something, acknowledge how much choice and control you do have. Use your power of choice and focus on making each ‘now’ moment the best it can be.

About the Author: Joseph F McCaffrey believes in living life as a work of art in progress, and writes about all aspects of living life fully at: masteringlifespuzzle.com

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